Can I pet that Dawg?
Petting a reluctant dog. Image Credit: Michael Jarmoluk
If you’ve been on social media for a hot second, you’ve seen a meme somewhere that has some kind of image of an animal (sometimes cute, sometimes not) with the caption ‘Can I pet that Dawg?’
I’ve got a little bit of a bone to pick about this, and it’s been stewing for a while.
I follow a number of accounts on social media who have dogs that are frequently out in public. They are very well trained and well mannered dogs. The same chorus that I hear from all of them is that people feel entitled to pet the dog. This appaling responses from complete strangers in response to being told ‘No’ is shocking.
For starters, what makes anyone think that they are entitled to touch another living being just because it exists and you are in proximity is beyond my understanding.
Secondly: not all dogs (animals) WANT to be touched.
This would be no different than running excitedly up to a completely stranger and hugging them in a great big bear hug.
If you tried that you’d be lucky if you don’t end up in the hospital charged with assault.
But somehow, when it comes to dogs in particular, but almost all animals, we feel like that’s a perfectly acceptable response, and that the animal should be happy we are touching it.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Animals, just like people, have varying levels of comfort with being touched. That level of comfort also depends on the person (being) doing the touching. Just because my partner can “baby cat” Mercury into a little donut in his arms does not mean that I, let alone a person she does not know well, can. That’s his special thing with her, and she will unequivocally inform you if she does not desire that treatment from you (and sometimes tells him, too!).
Dogs are no different than cats, but somehow culturally there’s a greater understanding and respect for allowing cats their opinion on being touched.
Just because a dog is in public and is well behaved does not mean it wants to be touched. Just because a dog is wagging it’s tail does not mean it wants to be touched. Just because a dog is attempting to remove it’s owners arm from their socket still does not mean a dog actually wants to be touched.
I know of so many dogs that would like people so much better if they just weren’t touched against their will constantly.
Studying behavior and body language of dogs (or whatever animal you’re interested in) is important to understand how they tell you they want to be touched, and how they say, ‘no thank you.’ Once you know the body language, knowing where the ‘nicest’ places are to touch them first. Being patted on the top of the head is not the preference for most animals. Once you have a general grasp, then knowing the individual comes next. Some animals have different ways of asking for things, and understanding what their body language is requesting is important. That’s not possible if you don’t have a grasp of general body language (and it’s a LOT more complicated than whether or not the tail is wagging!).
Can we normalize not touching animals and pets just because we see them, please? Just because they exist in our space does not give us the right or permission to touch them. We wouldn’t do this behavior with other humans, so why do we think it’s ok with other beings?
