Everything is a muscle
Building the capacity for physical goals and mental goals is pretty much the same. Photo from Peter Kostov
One of the most overlooked thought processes is that doing anything that you haven’t done before requires the process of building the muscle to do that thing. What often missed is the fact that this includes mental and non-physical activities as much as it includes physical activities.
When we think about being present, and having a stronger awareness on a moment to moment basis, we somehow think that we can simply decide to do it and then do it all the time. Ta-da!
If I decided that I wanted to go on a riding expedition and suddenly started riding for 7 or 8 hours a day, everyone would tell me how foolish of an idea that is. My one hour rides a few days a week are not enough to build up the muscles for being able to stay in the saddle for a full day, let alone several days in a row.
Somehow that does not get translated to non-physical activities.
But, the same thing applies: you can’t suddenly decide that you want to be present all the time and aware of the moment if you haven’t practiced building up the capacity to do so. Your brain will fatigue, and will wander (as brains are prone to doing), and then you’ll feel like a failure, which plummets your desire to try again.
If I got so sore I couldn’t keep riding after hopping in the saddle for hours out of the blue, I wouldn’t see myself as a failure, I would know I had tried to do more than I had the muscles to do.
It is important that we recognize that we are fatiguing when we’ve taken on something new and we give ourselves a break. We won’t be able to hold 100% present awareness for hours and hours on end the first day we attempt it. It is something that you simply have to work on for a little bit, and then be ok when your brain takes a break, and then come back to it over and over again.
Setting myself up for success to be able to ride for long periods of time would have a whole lot of baby steps. It could mean riding for a short period of time every day. It might mean adding in cardio or weight lifting at the gym to expedite building more muscle. It may mean adding in some yoga to help keep me limber and flexible through the added use of muscle. It might mean paying more attention to my diet so that I’ve got energy to do the increased physical activity.
Working on being present (or any other brain thing) is no different: baby steps can help us build that muscle just the same - Adding reminders on our phone so that we remember to be present at regular intervals. Using guided meditations to help prime our brain to be in the moment for longer and longer periods of time. Putting sticky notes or other physical reminders in places we’ll see throughout our day to bring us back to the moment. Pairing being in the moment with an activity that we already do so that we can spend more time practicing. And giving our brain down time not expecting to be present and mindful all day right away.
The training regime for preparing to ride all day will take weeks if not months. Brain training is no different. In the beginning the majority of the day is spent not exercising and doing the thing. Several weeks later, the capacity has increased, but still probably not full time. Eventually you get to the point where you’re prepped and ready for the big event. Why do we expect it to be any different with our brains?
Building up the brain muscles and the capacity for being in the moment takes time. It is important that we give ourselves the same patience building that up as we would physical muscles. Your pets want you to be aware and present with them as much as possible, and that’s the fun part about having a pet - they are a great gateway to remembering to be mindful and present. They love to help you practice these skills - just remember to do it in a way that helps build the muscle instead of beating yourself up for not being successful right away.
