Own It
Photo credit Kayleigh Guthrie www.rawphotographyimages.com
The Mama bird can’t flap the baby bird’s wings.
I’ve said this before, but this point got driven home again for me (again) in my lesson with Kirsten Nelsen this past weekend.
As it turned out, we started to work with B first, since she needs lots of support right now to start figuring out the ‘language’ of better movement. She’s making progress in leaps and bounds even though we are still doing work on the ground (the amount you can accomplish on the ground with a horse is probably a topic for another day).
It was HOT that morning, and walking with B was taking a toll on me as much as anything. We stopped to take a break, and realized we didn’t have a whole lot of time left in our hour together. Instead of saddling up Storm, Kristen suggested that we explore the same exercise of hand walking with Storm.
She knew his riding was going well, and wasn’t all that concerned about his progress. What we discovered was that without the support of me riding, he was still struggling a little bit to find his balance and efficient movement.
He wasn’t owning it.
Me riding him is great, and much better for his overall balance and health, but if he isn’t able (or willing) to use that coordination while I’m not in the saddle, then the work is only partially benefitting him. He has to be able to take his experiences under saddle and translate them to his everyday movement in order to really gain the maximum benefit.
Without me riding, though, I am much more limited in my capacity to ask him to engage his body that way. So we did a very simple hand walking exercise using the fence for support on the outside, and me on the inside asking him to walk slowly and use his body efficiently. It took him several laps before he started to put the same effort in that he does under saddle. But by the end he was moving much better and thinking through all of it in the same way he does under saddle.
This lesson is true everywhere. The hardest thing as a human, I think, is to watch another being (person or animal) struggle with something, particularly when we know we can help them. The more we love and care for the being that is struggling, the harder it is to stand by and watch.
There’s nothing wrong with this desire, however, if we act upon it then we are actually interfering with the process that is unique to that person or animal. There are things that must be experienced first hand in order to gain the full understanding of the lesson.
I have found this to be true with all of my pets. I have often been too quick to rush in and do something before they figure out the lesson. I’ve watched it happen with parents of small children, opting to tie their shoe for them in a rush instead of waiting patiently for them while they figure it out. I’ve noticed it happening in relationships with my partner and close family sometimes, doing more than is necessary rather than waiting while that person figures things out in their own time.
Obviously it should go without saying that if someone, human or animal, is in danger, then intervening is important. But more often than not these situations are not life threateningly dangerous, and what the person or animal stands to gain from a little bit of struggle far outweighs the benefits of intervening in that moment.
So get curious - where are you helping with your pets or other people in your life more than you maybe should be? Where might your pets benefit from a little more time and patience to figure out what you are asking and learn the task for themselves?
