Q&A: Does my pet know if I am feeling one way but acting happy?
I got this question from a reader recently: Does my dog or cat know if I am feeling one way, say sad, but acting happy?
The quick answer is YES!
Our pets can absolutely feel when we have multiple layers of feelings going on. From their perspective it doesn’t feel good when we are trying to outwardly show happiness, but inwardly we are feeling not so great.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone and asked how they were doing, and they said “fine,” or “good” but somehow you knew that probably wasn’t the case? Our animals are even more sensitive to the energy of emotion than we are - and they feel it every time.
It is confusing to them when there are multiple emotions going on at the same time - especially if we are attempting to avoid being honest with them (and ourselves!) about one layer of emotion. If we are avoiding actually acknowledging that we are feeling sad (or stressed, or anxious, or angry, or any other emotion) and trying to present to them as being happy then it creates energetic tension because it takes effort to cover up that underlying emotion.
This is so normal in our culture and society at large that we are often unaware that we are doing it. But our pets know every time. They often tell us, but if we’re too preoccupied with our emotions and inner landscape we might miss it. Our dog or cat might be more excited than usual, or agitated. They could be aggressive or rough when they try to play with us or get our attention. Or they could just try to hide from us.
Horses are especially sensitive to our emotions and energy in this way. Have you ever gone to the barn and suddenly your horse won’t allow you to catch it? It’s very possible that there was an energetic reason that they did not want to be with you that day. Years ago I was with my friend who is an Epona facilitator meeting with a woman who was interested in working with us. I was holding one of the horses we frequently worked with for the equine facilitated learning. The normally calm horse was antsy and would not stand still. Finally my friend looked at the woman and gently asked if she was afraid. She reluctantly replied that she was. The horse immediately let out a big sigh and started to quietly graze.
That’s the power of acknowledging exactly what we are feeling in the moment.
That’s all it takes is to be honest. Your pet never expects you to feel great every day. They just want you to show up as you are. If that means you are feeling down, or are very anxious about something that is happening in your life, that’s totally fine. Just be real about it.
The easiest thing to do is to have a conversation with your pet and share from your heart. This can be out loud, and it doesn’t even need to “make sense” - just work on getting words out that explain how you feel. If talking out loud to your pet doesn’t feel very good try writing them a letter or note. Whatever works for you to acknowledge what you are feeling in the moment about whatever situation you are encountering.
The wonderful thing is that there will be no judgement from your pet for exactly how you are feeling. Getting it off your chest also has benefits for you, and helps “clear the air” so that there aren’t any hidden things going on anymore.
It is understandable that we do not want to tell every person on the street exactly how we are feeling when you have a lot going on, but our pets live in our closest to us. So why would we not want to share and be honest with them?
