What have You Decided?

My clients usually come to me because there is a behavior struggle with their pet. When we start to get into details about strategies for changing behavior and how to relate to the pet, I hear lots of reasons why it can’t or won’t work. Or that the pet is/will always be this way. 

This breaks my heart to hear because I can see how locked into a particular pattern the pet and owner are.

What I see underneath this, though, is a belief about how the owner is relating to their pet. 

They don’t believe that their pet can be any other way. 

They don’t believe they are the type of person that can support their pet in any other way.

I look back on my relationship with my dogs, and I see this play out. I didn’t believe I was the kind of person who could handle my dog’s behavior. I didn’t believe I could support them and guide them to better habits. What I didn’t want to face was the work in between the belief and the results that we needed.

Story time… My dogs didn’t learn to walk on leashes. They quickly grew from the cute puppies into 35 and 70 pounds of excited uncontrollable energy. It’s not fun to take them out when it feels like your arm is going to be longer when you get back home. 

So we just didn’t. We managed with some play in the backyard, sometimes, and otherwise just kept ignoring the issue as best we could. I didn’t believe that I could change their behavior or get any other results. It’s just the way they are.

It wasn’t until they were 12 years old and I moved to a farm with no fenced yard that we had to face the issue whether we liked it or not. 😣 So suddenly it didn’t really matter what my belief was… we were going to have to do it. 

Wouldn’t you know, magically they became dogs who could walk on leashes, and I became the owner who could support them. It wasn’t pretty sometimes, but by the time both of them passed away at almost 15 that we were taking daily walks around the farm and seeing geese, horses, and all sorts of other animals together in a fun way. 

I regret every year we spent not walking together because it felt too hard. I cherish the memories of those last years with them - they were some of the best and most fun. But it makes me sad to think about how much time I spent avoiding what I didn’t believe we could do, when a simple mindset shift (and some time feeling uncomfortable) would have changed so much for our relationship and enjoyment.

So the first step is to decide you are the type of person that can do _____ with your pet. Once you really believe that it’s possible, then you can begin to take the steps to figure it out. Giving yourself the grace to explore and be uncomfortable while you learn will help you through the tricky part of getting the skills down.

But I assure you, you can be the type of pet owner who has well behaved dogs. 

Who walks their dog daily and it’s fun! 

Who plays with their cats and teaches them tricks. 

Who rides their horse several times a week with ease. 

Deciding that you are the type of person who ________ the first step to success - and I believe the most important one. What can you decide you’re going to do with your pet today?