I don’t know about you, but some days it just seems like I’m wearing the cranky pants and it feels like there isn’t much to be done about it. The other day was one of those days, and I think Storm woke up on the wrong side of the barn, too, which didn’t help either one of us!

I headed to the barn to work him for the first time in a week due to #allthethings. It was a beautiful day for the first time in almost a week and I was looking forward to getting back to it. The bugs were bad (the con to getting a lot of rain) and so I put his fly mask on hoping that it would help him feel better.

So now that we’re building our accounts with our pets, let’s take this one step further.

Trainers are known for doing amazing things with animals of all different kinds. It’s also a common complaint that I hear from clients that the trainer can do things way better than they can.

This is usually met with a little defeatism and frustration on the client’s part, which is totally understandable.

Let’s unpack this a little bit, shall we?

Relationships are like bank accounts… Hear me out.

When working with your pet you have to build a relationship. It’s like opening a bank account. When you start, there’s probably no balance in the account at all. You and your pet are new to each other and have to learn about all the little quirks. You have to build a language together that is mutually understood. Every time you take action in relationship to your pet, you are either making a deposit or making a withdraw.

When you do something kind that connects you to your pet, that’s a deposit.

When you do something that strains the relationship, that’s a withdraw.

Every interaction is either a deposit or a withdraw on the relationship.

Many times clients come to me because there is a behavioral issue they are struggling with.

Constantly barking dogs, lunging at other dogs on the leash

Horses spooking, pawing, or “acting out”

One of the first things that I notice is that there is a deep, often visceral, response to the behavior that is triggered in the client. Whenever the behavior happens I can almost feel their stomach clenching, their shoulders tensing, and their breath getting short.

This is the number one question that I get from clients - are my pets happy?

The answer is almost always a resounding yes!

And that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that we could do that would make them happier. (If you are questioning if you could make your pet’s happier, then you probably know somewhere inside that the answer is probably yes.)

Remember - you are the whole world to your pets. Which means their world is pretty small if we are being honest about it. Even for a horse with a large pasture, that’s still a small space compared to what they would experience in the wild.

So knowing that, what can we do to bring more joy and enrichment to our pet’s lives?

Ahh, spring in the eastern US. Flowers pushing up, bird songs, spring peepers in the evenings, and the time change.

Somehow the US government still hasn’t gotten their Ish together to discontinue this ridiculous practice. I serves no good and there is lots of research on how bad it is for us as humans. And anybody with a pet knows that they don’t give a crap what your clock says, they know when it’s dinner time.

As harmful as the time change is to us, it certainly isn’t an enjoyable experience for your pets, either. And as of right now, we still have to deal with it if we have any sort of time constraints that are a part of the normal world.

So what do we do? Here’s a few ideas to help you and your pet manage the shift

Only in the dark can you see the stars.

Here’s the thing, though - they’re always there.

Regardless of how bad things get, how cloudy it is, how brightly the sun shines, the stars are still there, quietly shining away.

But it is only in the darkness that we can see their beauty to appreciate them.

So it is with life, and especially with our pets.

I frequently get asked what my biggest tip for improving pet relationships is, and it is always the same.

Talk to them.

Nothing else can have as dramatic of an impact on your relationship with your pet than simply talking to them.

So what’s the big deal?

Your pet lives in your world, and whatever they have is all they have with you. It’s their entire world. But that doesn’t mean they understand what is happening in that world.

The thing is they are exposed to all of your life - the ups and downs. They live with you through job changes, relationship challenges, financial struggles, additions to the family. All the nitty gritty day to day grind, and all of your challenges they are right there with you.

This is a rant.

Consider yourself warned.

I took a quick vacation down to the mountains of North Carolina to see family this past week, and I adore the slow mountain pace. Things are just less pressured there, less rushed, less anxious all around. The collective energy is different (I know those mountains have just a little something to do with it, but that’s another conversation for another day…).

Coming back home was like being plunged in ice water. The energy here is just so different. Top that off with news about violence and car accidents, and a major earthquake in Turkey. Not the greatest re-entry into ‘normal’ life.

I see people everywhere fussing about other people. Relationships suffering because the other person won’t do this or that.

Here’s the deal. You must focus on doing you better before the world can be better. It’s a collective thing.

Gideon Goodheart, Kim Walnes’ stallion, recently shared some powerful wisdom around the perspective of judgement:

"Today, please consider judgement. In all of its aspects, it is non-supportive. It is also non-loving. This includes not only thoughts you might be thinking about another, but also those internal messages you send yourself.

For trust me, each and every one of those thoughts are messages. And though you may not even be consciously aware you are thinking them, they are being received. Judgement sends the implication of "less than", failure, exclusion. Physically they are felt as weakness and an energetic pressure. Emotionally they wreak havoc of all kinds.

Most pet owners come to me with all sorts of questions about how their pet feels about their daily life together. Do they like the house, their other family members (humans and other pets), what do they think of life? Sometimes there are specific questions around relationships, or health, and the owner will worriedly want to know what their pet is thinking.

What’s interesting is in almost every case the pet’s owner already knows the answer.

I know that you are utterly devoted to your pet. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here reading this blog. So that’s not in question.

But what I do want to ask is how much time are you actually devoting to your pet?

Remember back when the pandemic first started and everything shut down… how much of a shock it was to suddenly have almost no contact with other human beings on a daily basis? Remember how hard that was?

Now pause and check in to notice how much time are you actually devoting to connecting with your pet?

My clients usually come to me because there is a behavior struggle with their pet. When we start to get into details about strategies for changing behavior and how to relate to the pet, I hear lots of reasons why it can’t or won’t work. Or that the pet is/will always be this way.

This breaks my heart to hear because I can see how locked into a particular pattern the pet and owner are.

What I see underneath this, though, is a belief about how the owner is relating to their pet.

If you want to learn to connect intuitively with your pet, there are some simple steps you can take to learn to hear what your pet has to say.

Hearing your pet intuitively is a simple as being quiet.

Simple. Not easy.

It takes practice and patience to develop the skill of understanding your own intuitive voice first, then being able to listen to hear another being. It is the delicate balance of making the effort, but not trying too hard.

Our world is moving ever faster and faster, but somehow that does not change the speed at which actual beings can process things.

The theme of slowing down has come up a lot recently (Tasha Lockey and I actually did an episode in our podcast about it, you can find it here) and I’ve been examining the concept from a lot of different angels.

The biggest thing that I have noticed is that it doesn’t really matter how fast our world moves, we are still only capable of going at the speed that we can handle (and that will actually shift and change from day to day). Our pets are no different.

Do you know when your pet is over stimulated?
If you notice that your pet is over stimulated, what do you do about it?

I find that this is something that most people are unaware of. Our pets can easily get over stimulated from a variety of situations in daily life, especially if there has not been intentional training around that type of situation.

I sat down to get some content created and heard a noise, and looked up to find a squirrel on the window sill! My windows aren't the easiest to get to, which means s/he scaled the wall to get there. After delighting me long enough for me to take pictures, they scampered off again to do their squirrelly business.
Whenever I have an encounter like this, I have learned to pause. Unusual encounters with animals often have a message for me, and today was no different.

It’s inevitable that at some point in our lives we have to move. Relocating is a stressful enough event, and when you have a pet (or pets!) it adds another layer of challenging logistics to make sure that they are taken care of in the process.

Why does my cat meow all the time?

I get this question a lot - my cat keeps meowing and I don’t know what they want!

Cats are fascinating because they break so many of the ‘rules’ that apply to many other animals. Add on top of that the fact that so many cats are completely individualistic and you can’t make blanket statements about cats very easily.